These first 18 days of February have been very rainy for us and Robin, who works outdoor for a living, has missed quite a few days of work. The weather gave him a break today, Sunday and so we’re up getting ready like the usual work week morning only Robin woke up a little earlier than normal giving him some morning leisure time.
After all the holiday/winter decorations were taken down I moved some furniture around and changed a few the arrangements. One being the landing on our staircase. I moved a bench there which has turned out to be perfect spot for our weekend cup of coffee during these cool mornings. Otherwise, we are sitting on the porch! This morning the sun was beaming and smiling brightly and I made the comment this a great opportunity for sitting on the bench. Robin agreed …. sitting there chit chatting, I’m asking how long did he plan on working he ask what were my plans for the day, just a bit of this and that when out of nowhere Robin asks me the question. The question that no one has really ever interestingly asked and actually listen to my answer. He said what do you want to do. I said well I need to blah, blah (making reference to cleaning or projects I may want to start) he says no, what do you want to do? Oh, I think wait, he’s asking me what do I want to do! He just asked me the big question. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I hesitated, looked at him and begin to tell him that I wanted to open a shop, like the ones I love visiting. I want to be able to work a few hours a day/week but have someone take care and love it as I would so I can still come home and be a wife and homemaker. I want to serve my mother’s beautifully decorated cupcakes and cookies with coffee or tea, I want to set my shop up like I decorate our house, I want to…… and after I finish telling him a few more of I wants including the name of the shop, he then says why don’t you do it? I started crying, first I have never told anyone out loud ALL of my dreams of maybe one day – – second, we don’t have the money it takes to start a business, third I don’t own a building, fourth I’m scared of not knowing where to start or what to do.
He so enthusiastically said start here in the house. Use the living room, dining room, front porch to get you started. I told him we don’t live in the idea place or have the traffic and the need for such a business. He says we live one block from the school and all those mom’s and grandmother’s pass by here everyday. Oh, how my heart began to flutter. He leaves for work and I begin thinking of all the work that would need to be done inside/out and I started crying again. Panicked and terrified of all the what if’s flooding my mind. I do have dreams of owning my own little shop/cafe but not having the finances, know how, mentor / advisor is overwhelmingly terrifying.
I love Robin for asking me and sincerely listening to me and coming home during lunch with great ideas and so excited about this adventure for me ….. I just need some guidance and reassurance of what to do.
Happy day all,