AGE – āj/
1. the length of time that a person has lived or a thing has existed.
synonyms: number of years, length of life; More
2. a distinct period of history. “an age of technological growth”
synonyms: era, epoch, period, time, eon “the Elizabethan age”
1. grow old or older, especially visibly and obviously so “you haven’t aged a lot”
As I grow up, I’ve have noticed so many changes in my body and life!
I have noticed my eyebrows are getting lighter not thinner as in no hair growing back but lighter -white like the white that is overtaking the hair on my head! and they’re coming back in “coarse and curly!!” like the ones you see on old men!!! Speaking of white overtaking my hair – it’s a never ending battle keeping up with coloring it (I have that stupid skunk streak running smack dab down the middle of my hair line) and I’m just not quite ready to go completely gray/white. Besides I have too much natural dark brown for it to not turn into a year(s) long process. (the only positive thing about my dreaded skunk look is….women are paying tons of money and stripping the natural hair color out to achieve what is going on with mine naturally) COME ON GIRL – LET’S DO IT!! lot” GO FOR IT!!! (choking from holding breath while typing the last part of that sentence)….
The color of my lips have faded drastically and my eyelashes are falling only to come back if at all short! My skin has become so very wrinkled, thinner and losing so much elasticity. I use to be a sun worshiper and loved the bronze, golden brown skin but stopped that years ago … I sometimes look in the mirror and wonder where did the person that was standing there two years ago go?? What happened to her? I hardly recognize this person staring back at me.
Just a few years ago I would have never walked out the house without any makeup on or hair styled. Now, pffft make up? What make up? Oh! and a ball cap has become my go to accessory. I have finally learn to live with and accept that my weight is ok I’m not obese and could stand to loose a few pounds but I have accepted the fact that I look “somewhat ok in the mirror now – to me” and not get all down about it. (wishing I looked like a barbie).
I’m so very fortunate that hubby loves me just the way I am and with the changes that are taking place. He has made a comment or two that he thinks I’m beautiful no matter if I have make up on or off and my hair not styled but really? Honestly deep down inside I continually ask myself does he really think this is ok and that I’m beautiful? I don’t think he would have thought or said these things 12 years ago when he was trolling for a wife…..that’s just my opinion.
I have noticed when it comes to stupid – my frustration level is so very quick, short and fiery! Example – I’m in the men’s department looking for work pants for Robin. I see the style I need but in the wrong section. I scoured that whole department for this particular style thinking surely this isn’t the only pair in the entire store. Quickly becoming discouraged, I see an employee and asked if she worked in the department and with a no answer, I asked if she could call someone for assistance. She of course could not but finds someone else and asked if the would call – this person says what does she need? The other employee said assistance – second employee says does she need to try something on? I walk up to the second person and ask do you work in this department? She says no – I say why are asking all these questions then? You are no help and am wasting my time then walked away (she began saying something very loud toward my direction but I tuned it out). So now I’m looking for someone with a brain for assistance only to learn not many of them had one (a brain) and that it was the only pair of pants in the entire store….I handed the girl the pants turned around and walked out the front door beyond flustered, annoyed and frustrated…..
Today I’m thinking I’m ok with my age for now….I am learning to read and reread this chapter in my life – you know over the 50 mark. Do I feel my age? Some days yes whatever it is suppose to feel like and some days no – I know what 40 felt like. Do I look forward to the 60’s excuse me but HELL NO! In fact, I’m dreading it. I mean let’s be real I can’t stop it and it’s better than the alternative…..
Now for the changes in my life. I need and want to do something….I have come to such a stale state and am so bogged down and don’t know what effort to make to get out of this rut. Please don’t get me wrong I have a wonderful family and life, it’s just sometimes I feel like I’m wasting away and becoming a stranger even to my own self. I’m hoping all this negative energy and thoughts are coming from the season – which is truly hard for me right now.
I so hope we have a warm and dry weekend, even though Robin has to work Saturday, I am hoping to take down more “winter decorations” and begin the decluttering process while trying to bring back some fresh, newness into the house – inside and out! I find it hard to breath when being closed up for so long with all heavy “stuff” lingering in the air, sitting on the shelves and hiding in the nooks and crannies.
I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend filled with love, happiness, laughter and joy!